Seven months have gone by and it doesn’t hurt any less than before. I don’t know that we can ever be friends again, or if we could even be civil to one another after this long period of silence.

I wonder sometimes how things could be different. Sometimes I think about what would have happened if you had gone away to college like you’d originally planned. Would we still be friends? Would it have taken me so long to get over you with you being hours away, as opposed to just a couple of miles? Would time away have proven that our friendship could last through anything? Or would we have slowly drifted apart?

What if I had swallowed my pride that night and not walked away, would our friendship still be the same? What if I hadn’t promised you that I would never bother you again, could we have reconciled? Would I still be able to look at your family and see smiles and good times, or would they somehow still look at me with revulsion and anger?

Could you have seen that an insult, while offensive, was not meant to be so, and merely me trying to protect myself from the pain and sadness?

What if our friendship could withstand all of this?
It doesn’t appear to be so.
What if our friendship could withstand all of this?
Maybe someday we’ll find out.